4megsmusing

“Revelations of My Father through my Son”

In Uncategorized on October 12, 2010 at 7:31 pm

My sweet son is almost seven years old, and since he was a baby, there have been so many things about his personality that are difficult for me to relate to.  Maybe it’s because he’s a boy?  I don’t know.  Sure there are many things about him that I can relate to, in which I feel as though he’s like me.  But there are so many more that are so foreign to me.  If often leads to me wondering “where did he get that trait from?”  This of course after ruling out ways in which he’s like his Daddy, and there are many.

Most recently, while eating dinner he started to talk to me about someone at school.  I noticed he seemed a little upset, and was trying to keep himself from crying.  The someone he was speaking of is a boy in his class who is deaf.  He started by telling me that he made a new friend.  Long and short of it is that he was upset by the fact that there was a boy in his class that didn’t play at recess, he was shy.  I proceeded to tell him that maybe it would be nice to invite the boy to play.  This is when he started to get upset.  “He can’t talk Mom, he’s deaf”. Now I know why he’s upset.  He has always been very conserned with the well-being of others.  Since he was tiny.  He even received the “Good Citizenship” award in Kindergarten.  Now, all of this is very relatable to me.  I was always very sensative also.  It’s what he did afterwards.  He acted on his feelings.  He’s not at all shy.  I on the other hand was painfully shy, especially at his age.  After having a long talk about his new friend and how he could communitcate with him, he felt so much better.  He was upset, because he felt useless to do anything to help this boy feel more included.  Now, he often sits with him at lunch and shares his m&m’s.  He’s asked a teacher and another little girl in his class (whos parent’s are both deaf) how to talk to him with sign language.  Now they are friends, and he’s even discovered that this boy is a great artist, and has a great imagination!  I probably would have never acted on my feelings, I was too shy.   I would have been afraid.  I can’t tell you how my heart swells when I see him do these things.  Of course I’m the proud Mama!

Here’s where the question of, “where does he get this trait from?” comes up.  It’s something that is just in him, it’s part of the fabric of his soul.  There’s not an obvious answer for me, but it gets me thinking about my Dad, who is somewhat of a mystery to me.  He unfortunately passed when i was only five.  I of course have some memories, but they are the memories of a five year old.  I often have a deep longing to really know him.  That somehow it would fill so many empty gaps that i have.  When I asked my Mom if my son’s story is something my father would have done, she said yes.  He was an empathetic man, always willing to help another.  The kind that would give you his shirt, and easily made friends.

Eureka!  I had a moment.  Maybe in some spiritual way, I’m getting a chance to know a little about my Dad through my precious son.  So now, when I’m finding it hard to relate, I just remind myself to observe, observe, observe.  Soak it all in.  Be more patient.  Learn from this.

I know there are any number of wonderful family members’ traits that all contribute to the good person my son is becoming, but it helps me to also wonder about the ones who are no longer with us. They are a part of me and my husband, and therefore a part of him.

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